


Aunt Carolyn and Dusty File for Divorce

by berrries



Category: Smosh, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alter Egos, Arguing, Bad Decisions, Bad Parenting, Crack Treated Seriously, Divorce, Dysfunctional Family, Excessive Drinking, Explicit Language, F/M, Fights, Original Character(s), Recreational Drug Use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, as a fandom we should create our own aunt carolyn lore, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26094484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrries/pseuds/berrries
Summary: not actually, but they talk about it. also based on the lore(?) that shayne freakin' topp is aunt carolyn's secret love child.--“You should take your disgusting habits and go outside. Maybe the air will clear out that big head of yours and you can get your life on track!” Dusty yelled.“Mom, what’s happening?” Shayne asked. Dusty pulled him out of the kitchen and back into the living room.“Son, I want you to go back to your room, Mom’s drinking again.”
Relationships: Aunt Carolyn/Dusty
Kudos: 4





	Aunt Carolyn and Dusty File for Divorce

**Author's Note:**

> idk this isn't the aunt carolyn fic i promised but i'm out of ideas and not really writing for this fandom anymore so... i tried. ngl this is pretty similar to a roleplay i did with some friends at a sleepover in 4th grade... good times

“You should take your disgusting habits and go outside. Maybe the air will clear out that big head of yours and you can get your life on track!” Dusty yelled. 

“Mom, what’s happening?” Shayne asked. Dusty pulled him out of the kitchen and back into the living room.

“Son, I want you to go back to your room, Mom’s drinking again.” Shayne’s worried expression quickly shifted to annoyed. He rolled his eyes and went upstairs to his bedroom as a crash echoed in the kitchen, grumbling about Carolyn being an ‘awful role model to her kids’ and ‘being a shitty excuse for a parent’. 

Dusty agreed whole-heartedly. 

He made his way back into the kitchen. There was a broken wine glass in the middle of the hardwood kitchen floor and Caolyn was drinking straight from the bottle. Her ashtray was just as full as it was when Dusty left, but she had another pack of cigarettes on the kitchen island, one lit in between her fingers.

“Carolyn, I told you to get out of the damn house! You can’t smoke around the kids! Not even in the house! You’ll set off the smoke alarms! You shouldn’t fucking be smoking in the first place!” She clumsily set down the bottle and stared at Dusty.

“I… am also a resident of this house, I- hic- help pay the bills… I gave life to the- hic- brats, I have ev fuckin’ right to live ‘ere.” Dusty pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Get. Out. Of. The. House. Me and Shayne do all the work around here! He practically raises the kids himself while I’m out on work trips! He’s missed a shit ton of school for them! Think about your fucking family, Carolyn!” She glared and grabbed her bottle and cigarettes, heading toward the backyard. “No, the cigarettes and alcohol stay here.”

“No.”

“Yes, God dammit, woman, leave it inside!” She put the cigarette carton in between her teeth and uncoordinatedly opened the sliding glass door to get outside.

“Bitch,” she slurred. Dusty threw his hands in the air.

“That’s it. That’s it! I’m out! I can’t do this anymore, Carolyn. I’m leaving, we’re getting divorced, and I’m leaving.” He went to the front of the house and opened the door, leaving to calm down before coming back later for his stuff to find a hotel. “And I’m taking the kids!” He called before slamming the door.

At the top of the stairs stood Shayne. He sighed.

“Jesus Christ, I think this time he means it.” Back at the back door, Carolyn snickered.

“Fuh- fuh yeah, I do what I want and I get mah way!” She shut the door and set her coping mechanisms on the patio table before yawning. “Sleepy…” Then face-planted into the grass. Her red lipstick smeared everywhere and bugs crawled around on her pink dress and in her bird’s nets of a hairdo.

Shayne swept up the broken glass and snuck Carolyn’s credit card from her wallet.

“I really do deserve a fucking break.”

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i should continue this. idk, maybe shayne goes to a party n shit?
> 
> twitter is @berrry72957356  
> tumblr is @new-element-bread  
> but tbh i haven't been on either in a while


End file.
